"I once listened to an Indian on television say that God was in the wind and the water, and I wondered how beautiful that was because it meant you could swim in Him or have Him brush your face in a breeze. I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face."
I was taking a walk today alone and thought about how much I enjoyed being by myself. But how I also want to share being alone with someone else. I’m not sure if it makes sense, but I just want to be able to spend time with someone and still feel as comfortable as I am with just myself. I want to be alone, with someone else there.
I want to enter into any situation with a ready heart to accept that I am not always right so not to deny opportunities for truth to enter my life. Many times I have stood unrelenting to a brother or sister out of bitter, stubborn conceit, that my will be accomplished rather than God’s. Sometimes I allow pride to direct my life. May the grace of God cover me, that I may remember where I came from and to always know where He is bringing me.
"You know, the Bible doesn’t teach us to be defensive in relationships. It doesn’t tell us to protect your heart and be extra cautious ‘cause you don’t know who’s going to betray you, who’s going to leave you, no it doesn’t say anything like that, it just says love. And it says love always trusts. And it always tells us to forgive; forgive means they’re going to wrong you first and then you’re gonna forgive. And then go back up and trust again. That’s what the Bible says about our relationships. It never says, ‘No, close your heart ‘cause you’re going to get hurt. Be protective. Protect your own heart.’ No, it never says that. It says, ’Get hurt, I will heal you, I’ll restore things, reconciliation is for you, and then get back up and love again. Trust again. Go belong to that group again.’ That’s how the word of God teaches us."
This is all so surreal. I’m just so thankful to God for getting me through all of this awesome-ness and insanity. At the start of college, I was so unsure of myself. But now I can honestly say I’ve had so much growth spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I’ve met so many wonderful people and have great relationships with them. I’ve grown more open to possibilities and strengthened the bond to my convictions.
I was afraid of losing myself and at the same time never really understanding who I was. Now I realize how much closer I am to the desires of my heart as a person. So thank you to everyone for all of the congrats, support, prayers and best wishes! Thank you to friends who have stuck with me in the highs and lows of my life. Thank you to wonderful parents who have sacrificed for me and still continue to believe in my dreams. And thank you God for building me up and making me who I am today.